“When ‘AAP’ Speaks Louder Than ‘TUM’”
I share now a personal lesson in linguistic nuances as the writer’s experience immediately reminded me of an incident from nearly five decades ago, which taught me a similar lesson about how language, particularly forms of address, can sometimes create unintended misunderstandings.
At the time, I was posted in Punjab at my home town, Ferozepur. One day, my senior officer asked me to invite another officer to a dinner on his behalf. The officer I had to invite was from South India and was more comfortable with English and Hindi than with Punjabi. While extending the invitation, I used the word “tum”, as was customary in the Punjabi environment in which I had grown up. I said something to the effect of:
“Sir, tumko mere officer ne ek dinner par invite kiya hai. Yeh unki taraf se ek card hai.”
The visiting officer apparently found my manner of addressing him unusual and later mentioned it to my senior officer. Fortunately, my senior was a Punjabi with a rural background and immediately understood that there was no disrespect intended. He explained to the officer that the use of tum in Punjabi-speaking surroundings did not necessarily carry the same connotation that it might in Hindi or in other linguistic cultures.
Once the matter was explained, the officer understood the linguistic context and did not take offence. In fact, he graciously remarked that I had been placed in Punjab and that I would naturally pick up certain expressions and ways of speaking used by the local people.
That incident stayed with me. It made me realise that the same word can carry a different emotional and social meaning when it travels from one language to another. What may sound perfectly natural and respectful in one linguistic culture can appear overly familiar, or even discourteous, in another.
From then on, I became much more conscious while addressing officers from different linguistic backgrounds. Whenever I was speaking to someone whose Hindi was influenced by another regional language, I made a deliberate effort to use “aap” instead of “tum”, particularly in formal situations.
The article brought back this memory after almost five decades and reminded me once again of a simple but profound truth: every language has its own etiquette, social conventions and nuances of respect. Words cannot always be understood merely by translating them; sometimes, one has to understand the culture and intention behind them.
Frankly spleakingl, my experience was fortunate because an understanding senior officer was able to explain the linguistic difference before a simple choice of a word became a serious misunderstanding. It remains one of those small incidents in life from which one learns a lasting lesson—not merely about language, but about respecting the linguistic and cultural sensibilities of others.
